By Eileen Spatz, freelance writer
All my life I have been passionate about music. As a young child, my mother constantly had music playing on the radio and record player, thus passing her love of music on to me. Having been a theatre arts major in college, my mom was particularly fond of musicals, so I grew up constantly listening to soundtracks. To this day, I know all the lyrics to all the songs from My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music, The Music Man and countless other wonderful scores.
Growing up, I routinely performed in school plays and choirs. When I got to high school, I joined a singing and dancing group called Vocal Ensemble because I loved dancing almost as much as I loved singing. My musical tastes are really diverse, running the full gamut from blues and soul to classic rock and oldies to smooth jazz and showtunes. And to my surprise, I am even learning to like country music, especially classic country.
Who knew, though, the important role that music would come to play in my life. It was after the back-to-back deaths of my 25-year-old son and my beloved man that I first realized the power of music as a coping tool.
Prior to these tragedies, I typically performed the drudgery of housework while listening to my favorite music playlists to get me through it. But after losing my fellas, I was so broken that I didn't even bother to listen to music anymore, not in my car or in my home. Music just brought back memories and made me sad. But then one day, about two years into the grief journey, as I went to mop the floors I decided to go ahead and put on some music. Suddenly, I surprised myself when I found myself singing along while mopping the kitchen floor. I almost felt guilty for feeling a bit of joy, but thankfully not enough guilt to stop singing. This was a hugely pivotal moment in the healing process.
Right about that same time in 2016, I decided to join a Zumba class at the local gym. I had absolutely no idea how to do these moves, so I hid in the back row and tried to imitate the sexy moves of the Zumba instructor while looking like a fool. Well, it took months of weekly classes to work my way slowly up to the second row (leaving the front row for the divas) where I would dance my little heart out for the next six years. The music and movement were invigorating and breathed fresh life into my weary soul.
Discovering the beneficial impact that music, dancing, and singing had on my mental health in the early phases of grief was critical. I recognized the positive effect that music was having on me and have embraced it as a coping tool ever since.
I now reside in middle Tennessee, about an hour south of Music City, aka Nashville. During my first year living here, I discovered an abundance of live music venues right here in my small town of Columbia - all just five minutes from my house. Since arriving here, I have attended countless live music events, and even took some country line dancing lessons (fun!).
Out of all the music I have experienced since moving here, though, it is the oldies band Boomerang that is the most fun of all. Whenever they play here in town, I make it a point to attend the show because their shows are just so dang fun - and good for me.
Last night was a case in point. Boomerang's show last night was both invigorating and nostalgic, and, as always, got me out of my chair and grooving. In that packed Puckett's dining room, we boomers literally came to life when hearing our favorite songs. Trust me, all of us by the time we hit our sixties and seventies have experienced loss and hard times to some degree, but you sure wouldn't know it by watching us last night! [continues below this awesome clip]
You see, there is nothing more medicinal for the soul as enjoying great music that is so contagious you simply cannot not get up and dance. In fact, last night as the band was playing a crowd favorite, "Love Shack," I made it a point to look around the room. All I saw were wall-to-wall smiles as everyone was singing along and dancing their hearts out.
Music inspires commaraderie, too. It never fails that after every Boomerang show I always walk away with a new friend. Last night, I even met a woman who was born on the exact same day in the same year as me! That's a first, for sure.
So, if anyone reading this has suffered the loss of a loved one and is grieving, I do hope you will find just one thing that you feel passionate about and incorporate that back into your routine. For me, it is the healing power of music that fires up my soul and reminds me that life is still worth living. And if the music happens to inspire you to dance, all the better.
To learn about how I have managed my personal grief journey, here is my newest book
(written under pen name Theresa Anthony)
I decided to tell my life story, to share about the struggles and losses with the hope that my book might serve as an inspiration to others who are facing difficult challenges.
Order here
Author website: www.theresaanthony.com
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